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Life on Mars ?!

Since its discovery, Mars captures the imagination, leaving us peering up and wondering if two blue, life-filled planets ever encircled our sun. It gets lonely down here, we just want a cool neighbor to share the galaxy with.

Scientists found evidence of water, and a few Mars meteorites that hinted at the possibility of microbial life. There is also an unseen source of methane that mysteriously replenishes itself without proof of volcanic activity. So more like ‘life-i-ness’ has been discovered on Mars so far. But who wants microscopic, sea-monkey life? I’m looking for full grown friends (or vicious mega-beasts that we can run screaming from in apocalyptic horror). Maybe they’re not there now, but it doesn’t mean they were never there.

welcome to fabulous cydonia, mars!

postcard from cydonia

Welcome to Cydonia, Mars, home of nearby Olympus Mons, violent dust storms and possibly, little green men.

Cydonia is a really interesting area on Mars, it’s filled with strange shaped structures that, to the imaginative non-skeptic, could be man-made. It kinda resembles the ancient ruins of a long forgotten city. Check it out.


(The Starbucks is on the other side of the pyramid)

mars face

The most famous feature in Cydonia is the Mars face. According to NASA the infamous Mars face has been thoroughly debunked as a simple case of pareidolia. And the face is just a serendipitous play of shadows, angles and being at the right place at the right time. NASA even published a different image of the structure that looks very un-face like, which made my face look like this   ) :

So maybe it used to be a face and now half of it collapsed? Man-made or not, it’s still pretty awesome to look at a planet and see a likeness of yourself staring back at you.

mars faces side by side

(Much cooler than the Nicholas Cage/John Travolta movie... which I definitely never saw ... in its entirety ... in the theater.)

mars pyramid

More interesting to me than face or no face is an awesome pyramid also in the Cydonia area. Sure there’s sand on it because it’s on Mars and short sighted NASA scientists failed to outfit Viking with a leafblower. But it looks like a nicely cut, 5-sided pyramid right out of the Valley of the Kings. I don’t know any natural structures on Earth that look like that. Makes you wonder, why did most ancient civilizations across the globe all decide that a pyramid shape was the way to go? Why not a dodecahedron?

While undergoing my extensive scientific Google search on Mars that I’ve entitled “life on Mars, search, enter”, I found a lot of wacky theories connecting the Mars pyramid to everything from the back of the dollar bill, to secret societies, to Lucifer himself. Maybe Satan is fond of Mars cause it’s all red and hellish. Or maybe Lord Orthonlia of the Tryptophan Galaxy built an everlasting shrine to glorify himself. Or maybe it’s a rock. My professional scientific conclusion is, holy crap that thing on Mars looks like a pyramid!

mars pyramid

(yep that’s the pyramid-esque thing)

it gets weirder.

So I was watching a special on the History Channel the other day called “Ancient Aliens” (I have friends!) and it was chocked full of the usual pixel-tanned, believers with lots of wacky outlandish theories about this and that. But besides the shortage of actual scientists, there was actually a few tidbits that really stuck with me. First they showed a photograph of the Mayan pyramids in Tikal and overlaid it with the constellation of the Pleiades and it matched up quite nicely. So that right there was pretty interesting.

I am a firm believer in giving ancient man his due credit. Many assume that because it was a long time ago, people were dumber than we are now - I’m pretty sure I’ve met some people that would fail miserably in a game of “Are you smarter than a Mesopotamian”. So yes, our brainy ancestors built all the glorious pyramids, statues, giant monuments that we uncover today. And back then when the sun went down it got wicked dark outside. So planning your city layout according to the giant, glowing blueprints in the sky, does makes a lot of sense.


(the Pleiades)

Nothing implausible yet, right? And cue the believer, the same image of the Pleiades is superimposed over a NASA pic of Cydonia on MARS, including the infamous Mars face. Guess what lines up?

I guess it could be coincidence, if I were a mathematical genius I would love to run a complex equation using the pythagorean theorem and discover what the odds are. But due to the lacking genius on the show, they failed to deliver on that piece. So, continuing with my Google Mars fact finding mission I discovered several mysterious, spooky-graphic-filled web sites claiming to have this mystery all figured out. The one with the most info, who claim they thought of this first before The History Channel, is The Hidden Records. (things are more important if you start with “the”) If you want some in depth reading check it out.

Definitely watch these guys demonstrate how it all matches up here. Then just wait for your head to explode. What else are you gonna do?

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